Messages December 2000

Date: Sat Dec 30 22:17
jeff (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Josh, my brother - Tomorrow is the anniversary of the last time you spoke to me with your voice...everything looked like it was on the up and up after two days of "Premo." I went to a New Year's Eve party, ambivalently, and you said, "Don't worry about me. Go have a good time." I said I wouldn't worry. I lied. I miss you I miss you I miss you...I just wanted you to feel better...Chad and I saw your mom today. She's a wonderful woman with the most amazing amount of strength and love. Your life is being celebrated all the time. And we maintain the "Circle of Josh" and it is ready to be there for everybody and anybody who needs it. I miss you you chicken saag wala eating sweetheart of a guy. Hey, can you hook a brutha up with a smooth journey home...it's flight 1987 Boston to LAX...but then, you knew that didn't you? I love you sooo much my friend...

Date: Thu Dec 28 20:07
Moneypenny (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Dear Josh - my little chachi,Each & every day I think of you. The memories are endless, still shining in my soul. The sprinkle of light rain and burst of sunlight assures me that you are always with me and know how very much I love you. I carry your love and spirit in me with every step I take. I will never give up the dream...I love you, Moneypenny

Date: Mon Dec 25 09:05
renee stahl (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    oh boy, I just finished reading Marilyn ans Sam's emails. thank you both for writing them- and everyone else. this website is such a blessing not to mention the friends I am able to call when feelings and memories come up that I can't handle alone.I saw Josh at the hospital last year on Christmas- he was so happy to have visitors and many came by that day. I loved seeing him laugh so hard -even though it hurt his stiches. I think it was the year before that Josh, Sam and I went to los angeles crest to hike and see snow. Josh brought some back to April's house to share the weather. I do know in my heart that Josh is sooooooo happy where he is now. and my tears come because I just miss him so much.love Renee (Nay Nay)

Date: Sun Dec 24 17:33
sam (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Exactly one year ago is the last time I hung out with Josh. It was unfortunately in the hospital and he'd just been cut on and the jury was out and we were all full of hope. It being the eve of Christmas and we all being Jews I brought along a grab bag of goodies sent along by some friends and fans. There was a one of a kind Lance Armstrong poster provided by the good people at I Martin. A fine bottle of ginger ale from the Bronfmans (this was a favorite of Josh's, so spill a little out for the brother next time). A plate of Brooke's homemade cookies with his name written on one in blue frosting. A mylar football balloon. Josh was not a fan of the game, I don't know why this was sent along. And then there were the cards. The first one he opened was a cute little "Bug's Life" card from Michael Eisner. Ya think the cheap bastard could have gone out and bought a card instead of pulling one from the company store… I digress. It was very nice and he wished Josh a speedy recovery. The next card he read was from Israel's beloved ex-leader Menachem Begin. I'm not sure what Menny was thinking 'cause it was a Bar Mitzvah card, the kind you put a check or money in. It read, "Josh, Like Eretz Israel, you shall overcome your oppressor and live a long and healthy life" and he'd stuck a one dollar bill in it. Well, Josh opened the card, saw the dollar and lost it. I'm not sure he ever read the card. He just started laughing really hard and couldn't stop. They say laughter heals all wounds except when your wound is in your midsection, then all it does it hurt that much more. So Josh is laughing really hard and laughter is infectious and the card gets passed around and we're all laughing and Josh is laughing and crying and shaking his head and he can't stop. And we're laughing and trying to stop and we can't and its really painful for Josh and its also funny and really bad and we're all laughing and feeling really bad and Josh is laughing and crying and we're no help 'cause we're all laughing and we want to stop and make him stop and we can't. Marilyn then takes the third card and asks Josh if he wants to read it and Josh almost yells through his tears of laughter and pain, "I never want to see it, get it away from me". So Marilyn reads it and its from Bill Clinton and she says, "Josh, its okay, its not that funny". And that just cracks everybody up. So we're all laughing our asses off and Josh is wagging his finger at me and wheezes out, "Sammy, you're killing me, I should have known better". Before I left, Josh had wrapped himself up in a purple shall, draped some wooden beads around his neck and stuck a few feathers in that glorious head of hair of his to await the doctors. I never saw him again.

Date: Sat Dec 23 21:40
eden (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    josh I just wanted to thank you for visiting me the other night...it was such a sad dream but I was glad because I woke up feeling like you were with me all day. happy happy hanukkah. love, eden

Date: Sat Dec 23 06:23
Marilyn Felt (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Josh's Mom here, in Boston. It's 5AM and all night the trees around our house have been thick with crows-- so thick that if you didn't hear the chorus of a thousand crows cawing and you saw only their black shapes against the night sky, you'd think the trees were full of leaves again, in mid-winter. The cawing was so loud that there was no way to sleep. So here I am writing at my computer. I think that Josh wants me to tell this story. Thousands of crows around you might seem ominous, but Josh loved crows. They are, actually, very intelligent birds who look after family members with great loyalty. Josh became friends with a tamed gray-hooded crow named Fernando when he stayed in Kinsale, Ireland, and he had an affection for crows ever after. In Los Angeles one evening, about a year after Kinsale, Josh was walking his dog Kaya, and he saw a young crow lying in the road. Another crow, Josh thought it was the mother, was hopping around agitatedly, coming back again and again to the young crow. Josh picked up the young crow, discovered it had a broken wing, carried the crow home, and lay it in a box for the night. The next morning Josh took the crow to a vet, hoping against all odds that the wing could be fixed, knowing that a crow without a functioning wing would not be able to live in the wild. He realized he couldn't care for it- he had no outdoor space then and he frequently went away on tour. In the waiting room, Josh happened to sit next to a woman who had one of those old fashioned hatboxes on her lap. The woman gazed at the crow. She opened the hatbox and revealed a nest with two baby pigeons. At that moment Josh realized that whatever the fate of the crow's wing, he had found his crow a home. Sure enough the woman gazed at the crow again and said that she'd always wanted to have a tame crow. She said she would never take one from the wild because keeping a crow in a house would mean clipping its wings, and that she would never do. She gave Josh her phone number just in case the wing could not be repaired. The wing, in fact, could not be repaired, and after it was amputated and the crow regained his strength, the woman brought the crow to her home. About a month later Josh visited her to see how the crow was doing. It turned out he was living in the lap of luxury in a spacious home designed specially for free-ranging birds. Now how many such homes are there in the world, and how likely are you to find it in the person you sit next to at the vet's? It's hard to know how the crow views this in comparison to his normal bird life, but his fate seems better than had he lain in pain on the road until a cat or a car finished him off. Josh often seemed to be able to work things out to the good of all involved- in this case, a woman with a home to offer and a wingless crow with very limited prospects for a life. Josh seemed to have a special touch in bringing things together. There's a thought that keeps coming back to me about this incident: the mother crow must have been frantic when the young crow was taken away. Or maybe not-- if mother crows respond mainly by instinct, once the crow was removed, maybe it was "out of sight, out of mind". In any case, she couldn't have known anything about the life he was going to enter. Maybe there's a message in that for me. It's morning now and the crows have all flown away, and I think I'll put this on the web. A story for the season of lights. I miss you so much, Josh. Your Mom.

Date: Fri Dec 22 16:19
eric reed (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    merry xmas everyone!

Date: Fri Dec 22 01:04
Bob Weide (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Dec. 19th was a year since my last phone conversation with him. I was down with a miserable flu and he was laid up with back pains, having no idea yet what was causing it. Ironically, I guess, I had just finished rerading "Tuesdays With Morrie" and had recommended it to him. He said he would read it. I also told him that I finally read the book "Ishmael" which he had bought for me probably two years earlier. We both made each other feel better by laughing at how miserable we were. We made plans to hook up in two weeks, once we were feeling better. Two days later he was in the hospital. I'm just so grateful for our last visit (a movie and dinner in Westwood), for that last phone call and for all the visits to the hospital where I got to massage his feet and stroke that fantastic mop of hair. So much has happened this year that I want to tell him about. I even thought of song lyrics I wanted to pass on to him. Sometimes I get so angry that it was him. But I see that smile, I see him toss his head back in that laugh, and I just look forward to seeing him again. My love and best wishes to Marilyn, George, Henry, John, Laura and the gang as this anniversay approaches. Bless you, Joshie. .

Date: Thu Dec 21 22:50
jeff (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Hey, everybody...Hey, Josh...we're coming up on some hard anniversaries...Josh went into the Hospital exactly a year ago...You have all been so great in keeping his name in the air and his music in our hearts...Josh always wanted the world to be nicer...it frustrated him that people could be petty to each other and fearful in their lives...so, don't let fear stop you...tell people what they mean to you...soak up every experience available..say "yes" more than "no"...let your friends help you...help your friends...and laugh..and laugh...and laugh...Happy Hanukkah Josh...love, jeffy........... ************************************************************************

Date: Mon Dec 18 16:57
a josh fan (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    merry christmas Josh...

Date: Sun Dec 17 01:37
Brian Dilworth (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I just would like to say.....thank you. I was one of the many fans who were blessed to catch Josh with School of Fish in person. I will not forget the show and I still think back to it with great memories. Seven years seems like seven days sometimes. Thank you Brian Dilworth

Date: Sat Dec 16 22:04
Jeff Kitchen (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I guess I've been on mars becuase I just read the news about Josh. My thoughts and prayers go to all the frineds and family. I will look forward to the new album, and the first SOF album still gets routine play at my house. Simply of the best. Some where, people are being serenaded by Josh's sweet sound.... JK

Date: Thu Dec 14 10:13
Tommy Manzi (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    It's been some time since I last posted a note...but I do think of JCF every day.One recent note by Jeff R. really connected with me & where I'm at (when he saw the sign at the farmer's market). You see I've dreamed about Josh quite a bit but rarely remember what unfolds in my dreams. I simply wake up with a feeling of Josh as opposed to a memory of a dream. But I did have one dream that I do remember (so bear with me because there were some odd elements to it): Josh and I were in the basement of my Grandmother's house (in Pennsylvania).The time was just prior to his first solo album on A&M. Josh and I were working on details regarding his upcoming release of "Inarticulate Nature Boy". All the while, I knew about Josh's illness but never mentioned it (perhaps this reflects my inability to truly come to terms with his passing, I don't know). Anyway, Josh is there working away & very happy. I'm there worrying about Josh (but not saying anything!). During all of this, my brother is in the corner baking cookies (go figure...I have no idea what that part is about). Anyway back to Jeff R.'s note--Perhaps this was JCF's way of telling me he's fine and working on new things that are important to him. The bottom line was he was content and busy in my dream. This interpretation was triggered by reading Jeff's note (thanks Jeff). One more thing, Marilyn was kind enough to send me a copy of Josh's new album. As someone who lived through the first 2 incarnations of this album, I want you all to know that Josh CLEARLY knew what he was doing. I carried the CD around with me for months but it was only recently during a drive through Topanga that I build up enough courage to listen to the album. I want everyone to know that Josh raised the bar and delivered something very special (far better, in my opinion, than the previous two versions of this album). I'll admit I cried my eyes out on the first listen and I am missing "Alone" on the album (but I know Josh always thought that song was too melancholy...) but this is a truly special record and one that anyone who listens to it will LOVE. I love you Josh. TM

Date: Tue Dec 12 07:50
Dene Wilby (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Hi, just in case anyone has bookmarked only this page, please check out the new site: http://www.joshclayton.com/ for new information. -Dene

Date: Thu Dec 7 18:32
Lindsay (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I have not written in a while. Josh was a close friend of mine. Last year he stayed at my house for a while as he needed to find a place to live after moving back from Boston. I keep finding things that he left at my house. Little things like his natural conditioner and his bag of brown rice that he did not finish. I went with another of Josh's friends to his grave site on the exact six month day of his passing. We did not time this. We just wanted to visit and while we were there we realized that it was exactly six months. I believe Josh planned that one out. I lit the sage that he picked for me on a hike he went on. It was a nice moment. Now it is almost a year since and I still can not imagine life without Josh. I ask him all the time to come into my dreams. Sometimes he does. Really all that there is to say is that he was so wonderful and will never leave any of us due to the fact that he made his life full of love and loving others. He left that with us. He's always around watching over us and playing music, always. I love you Josh. Ride on!

Date: Tue Dec 5 19:55
scott "sherpdog" sherpa (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    well i just wanted to say i heard about Josh Clayton-Felt back in 1990. A friend of mine was working at a record store in Gadsden, AL. I came in and Inarticulate Nature Boy was playing on the radio. I asked who it was, he said the album would be out soon and that i should get it. I did, and i haven't been the same since. I love this guy! thanks sherpdog to find out more email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Date: Sun Dec 3 00:25
liz goodwin (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I sadly learned of Josh Clayton's passing in PULSE magazine earlier this year. Not unlike many of the others who have contributed their thoughtful and poignant messages to this unique website, I was truly shocked! As a music lover and music journalist, I thought that Josh Clayton was a gifted songwriter and musician who was ahead of his time and had so much ebullience to offer both musically and spiritually. His two CDs with School of Fish and the inimitable "Inarticulate Nature Boy" are some of the best music heard during the last decade. I continue to play all of them today and hear something inspiring at every listen. "Inarticulate Nature Boy" has such a liberating, optimistic vibe that permeates the album. It truly captures the earnest vision of an artist who saw the beauty in nature and humanity, despite the many challenges with which life often presents us all. Josh Clayton not only didn't forget to stop and smell the roses, as the saying goes, but also distributed the roses to everyone else whose path intersected his. It's great to know that he touched the lives of so many in such a short but invigorating life. We need more musicians and people like him. I look forward to hearing the news about how to purchase Josh's highly anticipated "Spirit Touches Ground" CD. Please keep me informed. Thank you very much. Many God Blessings to Josh Clayton's devoted family, friends and fans!

Date: Sun Dec 3 00:25
liz goodwin (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I sadly learned of Josh Clayton's passing in PULSE magazine earlier this year. Not unlike many of the others who have contributed their thoughtful and poignant messages to this unique website, I was truly shocked! As a music lover and music journalist, I thought that Josh Clayton was a gifted songwriter and musician who was ahead of his time and had so much ebullience to offer both musically and spiritually. His two CDs with School of Fish and the inimitable "Inarticulate Nature Boy" are some of the best music heard during the last decade. I continue to play all of them today and hear something inspiring at every listen. "Inarticulate Nature Boy" has such a liberating, optimistic vibe that permeates the album. It truly captures the earnest vision of an artist who saw the beauty in nature and humanity, despite the many challenges with which life often presents us all. Josh Clayton not only didn't forget to stop and smell the roses, as the saying goes, but also distributed the roses to everyone else whose path intersected his. It's great to know that he touched the lives of so many in such a short but invigorating life. We need more musicians and people like him. I look forward to hearing the news about how to purchase Josh's highly anticipated "Spirit Touches Ground" CD. Please keep me informed. Thank you very much. Many God Blessings to Josh Clayton's devoted family, friends and fans!

Date: Fri Dec 1 17:46
Troy Villines (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Wow ...I guess im behind times...I cant believe i didnt even no about Josh's passing...I was listening to one of School of Fish's Cd's today at work and his voice is so mesmerizing i cant get the song out of my head..never the less I thought i would type in his name and see if he was doing anything new..and i got blown away when his Website came up..He was the same age as me..I am deeply sorrowed to see such a talent have to leave us all...His voice and music was and is comparable to another musician i deeply respected..Jim Morrison...I was surprised to know that there is other music of his out there..if you have any info you can give me about his solo work or other please e-mail me it will be greatly appreciated....He will always be in my memory as a musician that was greatly blessed with the gift of music....I remember the time i went to see School of Fish in Reno , Nevada it was one of the most impressive shows I have ever seen...May his memory live on ...God Bless