Messages September 2000

Date: Fri Sep 29 14:09
Erin Kidder (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    This lump has now been in my throat all day long...several years back a friend invited me to see Tori Amos at the Majestic Theater in San Antonio, TX. The only thing that got me there was knowing Josh Clayton-Felt was opening (I loved School of Fish). We were front row center! It was by far one of the best performances I have ever seen, and ever anticipate seeing! I was fortunate enough to get to meet Josh right after the show and he was so kind and he posessed such an intoxicating smile that lit up the rest of my night, and much of my life since. I put one of his CD's on the other day and today decided to visit his site to see what's new, and I was almost paralyzed by the very sad news of his passing. I will truly miss his physical presence, but I am forever greatful for the opportunity to have met him, shake his hand and laugh with him....the happiness of that memory will live within me forever! Thanks so much Josh for that gift!

Date: Fri Sep 29 04:16
Nudger (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Cha-Chi, I miss you. Had to let you know. Thank you, for you. You were right about finding the pocket, by the way. Just don't look so hard. I'm loving every lil' on the cuff-fluence a-la Chach, I discover within your last cd. It's a conversation. MISS!!!! DOM

Date: Fri Sep 29 04:16
Bob Bray (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I am so sorry for the loss of Josh Clayton-Felt. The first time I heard about him was when I went and saw Tori Amos in concert some years back at Jones Beach in NY. He opened for her with a solo acoustic set and played the most amzing one-man show I think I've ever seen. No disrespect to Tori Amos, but for me, Josh stole the show. Since I saw him, I've had this desire to have an all acoustic, rock out kind of band. I am pleased to say that it's on its way. I just found out today about Josh's passing, but I need to say thank you to him. From his show at Jones Beach, I saw what I wanted to do. Now, I'm definitely going to play "Doubt," my personal favorite of his, in rememberance of him at any show I do. He was a great musician. And you're right, this is our loss. I'm sure he's doing fine somewhere and smiling like you said he always did. Best wishes to you and yours. and one more thank you to Josh. Thanks, Josh.

Date: Fri Sep 29 04:16
Hlee Lee (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Nicky, that's powerful! wow, i didnt even know josh personally. i almost cried reading your story of your dream. that's very powerful, i felt for you. gosh, i wished he was still with us! gosh, i wished i got to meet him at least! this sucks! Made a mix CD of Josh's music the other day (from CD's I have purchased over the years) and was suprised to still have feelings of both depression over his passing and joy over the fact that he left a part of himself behind for us to share. With only the 2 SOF albums and singles with b-sides plus the solo album with its singles and b-sides, I am really looking forward to a new album. Josh had a relatively small body of work, but it was quality.

Date: Sat Oct 7 15:49
Celia (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I saw Lance Armstrong's chest x-ray on TV during the Olympics--it looked just like Josh's after he got sick with his testicular cancer. I felt nauseated when I saw the picture. Lance Armstrong was lucky, Josh wasn't. Please, please, please, anyone who reads the messages here examine your testicles, if you have them, every month in the shower with a soapy hand. Tell your friends to do this. Tell anyone you meet to do this. Remember to do it and if you find a mass, see a real medical doctor. Don't wait like Josh did. If he were alive I know he'd be telling you the same thing. Don't wait, don't be shy, see a doctor. Testicular cancer is a major killer of young men, but the scary thing is that it's a very curable tumor, if you catch it. Catch it!

Date: Fri Oct 6 23:44
Dene Wilby (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Hi, If you come to the messages section via a bookmark, please go to http://www.joshclayton.com/ for some news. Thanks, -Dene

Date: Sat Sep 23 09:10
nicky (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I just woke up from a Joshy dream and I can't seem to stop crying. I thought that coming here and sharing might help. In my dream, I was investigating an old building, a school, and I was winding down many floors and flights of stairs looking for something. I got to the last floor and there seemed to be one more small flight of stairs leading down but I didn't want to go. I asked someone what it was like down there because it looked kind of dark and icky and he said that it was peaceful depending on how negative you were. So...it was an 8 peaceful on a scale of 1-10 if you were a -2 (very Josh.) I figured I wasn't very negative at all and that I would be fine. I went down the stairs and they opened into a long hallway. On either side of the hall were classrooms. I looked in and there were small groups of students studying or doing experiments. As I approached the last classroom on the left, I could hear a voice singing and an electric guitar playing. Immediately, I recognized it as Josh. When I entered the room he was sitting there writing songs. He looked amazing. I was just kind of stunned. He looked up and said: "all the birds do hit the ground right before the ocean." I went up to him and he kissed me hello and gave me a big hug. I started to cry and he asked me why I was crying. I said: "because you're dead." He just said: "oh." I asked him a few strange questions and he answered. He thanked me for introducing him to a mutual friend of ours. My crying was becoming more like sobbing and Josh was trying to console me. He kept kissing my face and holding me. It was really tripping me out because everytime he would kiss me I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine and I could smell him (you know that wonderful Josh smell.) Anyway...I started to cry so hard that I had to leave the room and people kept trying to ask me what was wrong but I was crying so hard I couldn't explain myself. At this point I woke up and a few minutes later I started to cry. My first thought was that it's the people who get left behind that suffer. Josh is writing songs in a peaceful place and he seems really happy. I miss him terribly. Even though I didn't see him daily, or even weekly, not a day doesn't go by when I don't think about him at least a few times a day. When I'm sad, I visit this website and read all the messages and somehow, the sense of community makes me feel better.Peace to everyone. Love, Nicky

Date: Fri Sep 22 22:00
Joel Tippie (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    i just decided to take a peak at this site to see if there was the possibility of a new release soon (it's been a while since i've visited) and i'm absolutely devestated. i had the opportunity to meet josh once in seattle on the INB tour. i had heard window on the radio out there and really dug it so i picked up the record and was floored. there was an honesty in his writing that was so appealing to me and so close to what i strive for in my own music. i was fortunate enough to get backstage at that show and talk with him briefly. he was very relaxed and gracious and when i told him that i was absolutely wearing out his cd he was genuinely flattered. i still sing his praises. his impact on me and my own music has been a lasting one. listen for yourself if you're interested: www.mellow26.com

Date: Fri Sep 22 12:24
Shannon Rubin (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I started playing music at the age of 19 (drums) I like hard rock/heavy metal. Van halen to metallica. But I have a great appreciation and feel for other music. Elton John, Billy Joel, Eagles. Most music in general. I fell in love with the song three strange days about 2 (3?) years ago. I never knew the band name, all I knew was that it was so incredibly unique and great. harmonies, groove, whatever. It makes me dance in my seat driving down the road and beat my dashboard to the drums. I recently found the song on mp3 and discovered the band name. So here I am researching the web to see where i can find their albums and maybe concert dates to go see them and all I can find is a headline "School of Fish's Josh Clayton-Felt Dies - Alternative ". After listening to that song over and over all day i'm shocked and saddened. What a talent and great voice and I never got to fully enjoy his music or presense. I hate it when someone like this passes on so early. It's a wake up/reality call to life. It makes me even more regret that I never followed my musical dream while I was younger so that I could express myself the way I can feel his expression in that song. My heart goes out to all of his family, friends, and fans who feel the same way. /Shannon

Date: Wed Sep 20 01:18
Jeffy (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    JOSH - Thank you. I love you everyday. You always wanted the best for me and all of mankind...I miss your earthly being. Jeff

Date: Tue Sep 19 01:25
eric reed (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    hi joshua ananda clayton! I suggest giving the other josh a listen! you can find links to music samples if you click on "main web site". it's good stuff! I think his music appeals to a wide range of listeners, as he was influenced by so many types of music!

Date: Fri Sep 15 16:33
Joshua Ananda Clayton (none):
    I don't know him, but I share his name, Joshua Clayton, thus finding his web site honors me knowing that there are other Josh Clayton's that are life-loving fighters, heck, I'm deeply honored in fact! I'm twenty-five years old and am a six-foot-three inch 250 lb. black guy... But I feel a genuine connection in a spiritual way from what I've read on this website about "this other Josh Clayton". Thank you for your consideration and have a bless'ed good'n! Joshua Ananda Clayton

Date: Tue Sep 5 14:17
Bryan Rosengarten (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    I started the day off listening to "Inarticulate Nature Boy". The traffic into work didn't even seem to phase me. Work completely absorbed me, lunch was taken from me by more undeserved human waste of time and the day went down hill really fast. After contemplating suicidal tendencies for the second time in three days, I decided to look around and see if my friend's info that Josh had died was real. When I saw that he was just a few years older than me and usually had a smile on his face, I thought about myself. I, too, usually had a smile on my face. What happened to it? Who stole it? It was society. Hmmmm, Hmmmmm, Hmmmmm...I listen to Josh sing and play from his soul. It is amazing to have somebody else's soul at my desk. Where is mine? I am finding it again. Thanks Josh. I never knew you, but you have helped me where no other human could.

Date: Mon Sep 4 22:31
casey kinnan (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    i had no idea that josh had passed. and i never knew him personally but i am extremely saddened by this news. i listen to his music at least once a week and found myself drawn to it; even this morning before i learned of this. saw him live once and i CAN still picture his smile. (as per one of the question's asked in the eulogy) i am just soshocked in the same way when i learned of jeff buckley's untimely passing. you can bet i will be diving into josh's cd's even more in the days to come. my prayers andcondolences go out to his personal family and friends. thank you for carrying on josh's love as i will try to do the same. -c

Date: Sun Sep 3 23:46
Kaya (home, Topanga):
    Hi Dad, I miss you. I've been playing with Buddy all day and I'm going to sleep now. Sending you lots of licks. love, Kaya

Date: Fri Sep 1 19:50
Bridgette (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    Jeff, I just had to write to say a few things....First, I lost one of my best friends in 93....and everyone kept tellign me that I should be glad that I had had the time that I spentwith him...and for a while, I thought they were silly and hadn't actually lost someone that they had loved to their bones and therefore didn't know the sorrow and emptinessthat i felt ...but as time passed, I realized what my friendship with him was about and what taught me, and how it DID change my life and how I am a different personbecause of him....I can't say that I would have figured out those things had he still been with me in the earthly plane....I loved him dearly then, but it is different now....Whenhe shows his spiritual presence to me, I smile so broadly and feel sooooo filled up in my chest with love and warmth that I suddenly know what is possible...what is feasibleand what is there if we want to see it and feel it...they are there, before us...looking after us and trying as hard as they can to show us that they (their soul/spirit) are not"dead"...they are with us all the time, just in a different way...perhaps in a more powerful and influencial way. WHen I think about my friendship with my now spiritual friend,David, I think about how different my life is for having known him...but it hurts, because i miss him so... until i sob and sob...but i AM a better person for having known him,and experienced him. And i think that is the way Josh was...I only knew him shortly. very shorty, but his interaction with me resonnates...I knew him when I was feelingweak and confused...and throughtout this decade, his light has shown me what is out there for everyone...I am a very different person than i was then when i met him, in 92or so, but his friendship and kindness and self-assurdedness was always an inspiration....and i AM thankful for that...for that glimpse that he gave me of himself....of whatwas possible for the soul to be...to overcome...i am thankful.

Date: Fri Sep 1 13:29
Jeff (This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.):
    ...Then you go and have "Kaya" by Bob Marley playing at a store in Malibu, after I ask myself why I'm walking into the store...thanks, J. Love, J.